can the train really be stopped?

Currently listening to: "Stop this train" by John Mayer *a must listen!
Current location: my futon, yet again.
Current obession: sushi, my new found love for yoga and jasmine tea.
Currently wearing: "osaka" t-shirt courtesy of brooke and jer.

Over the past few months, I have spent many a long, happy hour on my futon, journalling, updating this thing that you are reading now, and trying to make sense of this whole experience that I am having over here. And have I come to any conclusions? Well, if life is a series of emotional rollercoasters, train rides, vending machines, mishaps, coincidences, language barriers, surprises, gifts, surprising gifts, moments, joy, sorrow, being scared, having certainty, havinguncertainty - than I guess this is it. As said by John Mayer "sometimes I can't take the speed its moving in" - and yet, I can't imagine it all without the speed and the motion its all moving in.

I think I am somehow coming closer to myself. Somehow learning to hear myself better. Somehow learning the truth about myself. The untained truth. Going into my own wilderness. Having to call upon my own voice more frequently. But, most importantly, having to call upon God's name even more frequently.

I love living in this kind of anticipation. I never thought life could be full of this kind of expectancy. What ever is in front of me, I'm learning to embrace it. To run towards it. To fear it. By fearing it, I mean to know its power. Whatever the "it" is. Whether its God, a moment or a lesson that I need to learn.

Just pondering over these thoughts today. I imagine you here, sitting next to me, sipping a latte, and helping me sort all this out.