"oh Canada...(i'm making an effort to) stand on guard for thee"

Not sure if news travels this quickly, but it has been splashed all over the tv here and in the newspaper the last 2 days. A number of english teachers, working for the company I am employed with, have been busted with possession of drugs a couple days ago. There are seven teachers who have been accused, and sad to say, one is apparently Canadian. This saddens me. Since Nova is a huge corporation, with offices all over Japan, this event has been widely televized. And the air has been noticeably more thick around our small branch at Kita Senri. I know that I don't have anything to feel guilty about...but I do. It is so easy to build community among english teachers here, and when something like this happens, you can't help but feel bad or somehow guilty. Somehow ashamed as well that one of these gajin was from Canada.

While being over here for the last 5.2 months, I have felt so proud of my country. Wanting to try my best to represent it well - attempting to smile at strangers, offer help where I think is needed, making and effort to let people go ahead of me. As if all of these actions are somehow a reflection of my country. (Ok, I'm not an extra good person and I'm not trying to built myself up- seriously- I just feel all the more conscious of my identity as a Canadian here, than I have felt at any other time in my life. Still not sure why I needed to let those 3 people go ahead of me in the train today...hmm, just thought of that.)

Ok...I don't want to boast about how great my country is. But..how can I describe it? Hmmm. The way I feel about Canada is like a little kid who has just excitedly finished a crayon drawing at school and brings it home to their mom, who then hangs it on the fridge. In a way that warms my heart. I get these similar feelings when I think of my home. I'm happy to talk about my country - its traditions, stereotypes and sometimes idiosyncratic tendencies. And in turn, I'm happy to listen to my students speak about Japan in the same way.
But...after this incident recently with the drug bust amongst the foreigner community here...I feel sad, in a way that somehow sobers my feelings of my country. It like so much of what foreigners do here, seems to be an immediate reflection of the place they are from. I am sad for this. Makes me think about foreigners living in Canada as well and what their experiences must be like. If something goes wrong, how quick we are, to judge a persons place of origin immediately.

Still...Canada...I will choose to stand on guard for thee.

With a heavy heart.