adjusting

I'm home now.

Home.

Back from what has been the most incredible, challenging and beautiful experience of my life. After long hours of flying, 2 baggage checks, 3 airports, and an 8 hr layover...I finally made it to cold, but welcoming Edmonton at 11:30pm Wednesday night.

I made it home, felt exhausted, a litte sad to leave my life in Japan, but relieved to once again be surrounded by my family. I'm realizing that home really is a gift. A place where we can be ourselves. And I, having been called a foreigner and having been looked at for the last year and a half, can feel more normal once again...

But, do I?

Yesterday, was a good day. Got up really late and spent sometime with my mom and ate regular food, and did regular things, which I really loved.

Today, was...well...strange for me. It was as if everything was taking place in slow motion. I found myself being kind of sensitive. I think I'm going to have to take it slow when it comes to being in big groups of people. I find that I can't quite register now with jokes, it feels strange, because before I could. Maybe I'm just tired, maybe its the cold weather, maybe...I don't know. Maybe I jsut need to be patient with myself. Today, I finally had to pull the curtains down and be alone for a few hours. To re-charge or something.

I also know too that I am coming off a huge high, into a different world. A new place. And after I woke from a long 3 hr nap today, I honestly had to ask myself, "Was this past year just a dream...did it actually happen?" Yes it did. And, I'm just learning how to translate this into the world I am in now and the people around me.

This adjusting thing is gonna take sometime...and some more sleep.