a gentle and sweet reminder...

Tonight I was reminded of something.

I was at Shoppers Drug Mart developing the last of my Japan pictures. I was at the counter for nearly an hour, pouring over the last few months of memories. The people, the places and sights and sounds of the country I had grown to love. I have to admit, I was feeling sad and happy all at the same time. My time in Japan was spent not only teaching english, but attempting to document the things I was seeing and feeling. Over the last few days, I have been so desperately wanting to communicate with people over here, what this whole experience has been like for me. But, I seemingly can't find the words.

When I came back to the counter to pick up my photos, the girl behind the counter said, "Erickson, right?." I said yes. And she then continued to say something along the lines of, "Can I just say, I was looking through your photos, and I wanted to sit down with you and get to know the people and the places you were seeing. I told the girls to come at look at them with me."

Sometimes, after taking so many pictures, and looking at them so many times, its easy to only see the mistakes or the places where I could have improved. Tonight, the staff at the photo centre reminded me...I DID go to Japan, and I DID encounter some beautiful things. It wasn't just a dream. And I guess my biggest fear in coming home was that my experiences there would only take place in isolation. While some of them I want to only remain in my mind, I was filled with so much joy at the surprise of a stranger showing a heart-felt interest in my pictures.

To girls at Shoppers, thank you. You reminded me of the excitment I felt in Japan.

adjusting

I'm home now.

Home.

Back from what has been the most incredible, challenging and beautiful experience of my life. After long hours of flying, 2 baggage checks, 3 airports, and an 8 hr layover...I finally made it to cold, but welcoming Edmonton at 11:30pm Wednesday night.

I made it home, felt exhausted, a litte sad to leave my life in Japan, but relieved to once again be surrounded by my family. I'm realizing that home really is a gift. A place where we can be ourselves. And I, having been called a foreigner and having been looked at for the last year and a half, can feel more normal once again...

But, do I?

Yesterday, was a good day. Got up really late and spent sometime with my mom and ate regular food, and did regular things, which I really loved.

Today, was...well...strange for me. It was as if everything was taking place in slow motion. I found myself being kind of sensitive. I think I'm going to have to take it slow when it comes to being in big groups of people. I find that I can't quite register now with jokes, it feels strange, because before I could. Maybe I'm just tired, maybe its the cold weather, maybe...I don't know. Maybe I jsut need to be patient with myself. Today, I finally had to pull the curtains down and be alone for a few hours. To re-charge or something.

I also know too that I am coming off a huge high, into a different world. A new place. And after I woke from a long 3 hr nap today, I honestly had to ask myself, "Was this past year just a dream...did it actually happen?" Yes it did. And, I'm just learning how to translate this into the world I am in now and the people around me.

This adjusting thing is gonna take sometime...and some more sleep.